TEMPERAMENT
We are all born with a certain temperament. Our temperament is our nature or disposition-the way we naturally tend to act and do things due to our genetic make up. Just like a cookie has unique ingredients that give it it's flavor, our unique temperament and personality ingredients make us who we are and influence how we think, feel, react, and behave.
There are some parts of our temperament that can not be removed or changed because they stem from our biological make up. Although we can't change some of these characteristics, we can certainly learn to accept and understand these traits and influence and guide development in positive ways.
Understanding our child's temperament and our own temperament can help us accept our child for who they are, and give us insights on challenging behaviors and conflicts. Most importantly though, understanding temperament can help us create healthier, more realistic expectations for our child and allow us to create an environment where both parent and child can learn, grow, and develop as unique individuals.
There are some parts of our temperament that can not be removed or changed because they stem from our biological make up. Although we can't change some of these characteristics, we can certainly learn to accept and understand these traits and influence and guide development in positive ways.
Understanding our child's temperament and our own temperament can help us accept our child for who they are, and give us insights on challenging behaviors and conflicts. Most importantly though, understanding temperament can help us create healthier, more realistic expectations for our child and allow us to create an environment where both parent and child can learn, grow, and develop as unique individuals.
Temperament traits are not good or bad, they all have advantages and disadvantages depending on the situation, but some combinations of traits are more difficult to handle than others.
Researchers(Thomas, Chess, and Birch) studied and identified 9 traits. Take the quiz below and learn more about what temperament traits you and your child have.
TEMPERAMENT QUIZ
Read the questions below and see what you and your child’s temperament traits reveal.
Use a scale 1-5. (1-Low/Mild…3-Medium/Moderate…5-High/Extreme)
1. Energy and Activity Level: How active is your child? Are they pretty mellow most of the time or are they bouncing off the walls with energy most of the time? Most kids are somewhere in between.
• You____________________________________
• Your child_______________________________
2. Regularity: Does your child settle into schedules and routines quickly? Do they have pretty regular patterns in their eating, sleeping, toileting, and other habits?
• You____________________________________
• Your child_______________________________
3. Adaptability: Does your child adjust easily to transitions in the day or new situations and environments? Do these changes cause them a lot of stress? Does your child hesitate to join into new situations or do they join more gradually? How do they respond to new people? Do they tend to withdraw and avoid new situations or dive right in?
• You____________________________________
• Your child_______________________________
4. Intensity: Does your child react in mild and quiet ways when they are excited or upset? Or are they pretty intense?
• You____________________________________
• Your child_______________________________
5. Persistence/attention span/frustration tolerance: How long does your child stick to a task? A long time or short time? How long do they resist limits? Do they get frustrated easily? The great thing about persistent kids is they can persevere and stick to a task when it is tough. The negative side is they can be pretty stubborn to rules and authority.
• You____________________________________
• Your child_______________________________
6. Distractibility/Soothability: Can your child stay focused on tasks for long periods of time or do they get distracted easily? Do they complete tasks or do they jump from one uncompleted task to the next? Can they be soothed easily when they are upset?
• You____________________________________
• Your child_______________________________
7. Sensitivity: Is your child affected a lot by sensory stuff? Are they particular about smells, tasters, temperature, textures, sounds, lights, etc.?
• You____________________________________
• Your child_______________________________
8. Mood: Is your child happy and cheerful most of the time or are they often irritable and upset?
• You____________________________________
• Your child_______________________________
9. Approach/Withdrawal: Does your child approach new people, food, or situations with curiosity and excitement or do they usually resist most new things.
• You______________________________________
• Your child_________________________________
Hopefully this information will help you begin to accept and embrace your child’s temperament, rather than kicking against it. By doing this, we can help them develop an accurate view of themselves with a focus on their strengths, and an awareness of their tendencies and weaknesses.
